IF MICROSOFT WERE BASED IN GEORGIA

Ways things would be different if Microsoft was headquartered in South Georgia:

1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle
3. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-ight" or "Naw"
4. The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an outhouse
5. Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized drunk redneck yelling "Freebird!"
6. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme song would be Achy-Breaky Heart
7. PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt"
8. Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishul Basic" and "Vishul C++"
9. Winders 95 logo would incorporate Confederate Flag
10. Microsoft Word would be just that: one word
11. New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now!"
12. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz"
13. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am
14. Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse
15. Four words: Daisy Dukes Screen Saver
16. Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire
17. Spreadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in your front yard
18. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor Pull Simulator
19. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates
20. Instructions for use would include "mash the control key."