DEFINITIONS OF DATING

LAW OF RELATIVITY ------ how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

NYMPHOMANIAC - a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.

SOBER --------- condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.

FRIEND --------- a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

INDIFFERENCE --- a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get."

INTERESTING ---- a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.

EASY ----- a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

LOVE AT 1st SIGHT ------- what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.

BIRTH CONTROL - avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphram,using a condom, and dating repulsive people.

DATING ------- the process of spending enormous amount of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

ATTRACTION ----- the act of associating horniness with a particular person.

EYE CONTACT --- a method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many woman have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.