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A Man's Guide to the intricacies of what a woman really means when she says something to you.

**Pay close attention, you never know when your woman may hold a quiz.**

If she says.........What she means is....

Do you love me?= = =>I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me?= = =>I did something today you're really not going to like.

I need wedding shoes = = =>The other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.

Be romantic, turn out the lights. = = = >I have flabby thighs.

I'll be ready in a minute. = = =>Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

I heard a noise = = = >I noticed you were almost asleep.

I'm not upset = = = >Of course I'm moron!

I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = = = >It's that time of the month.

You have to learn to communicate.= = =>Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!?= = =>[Too late, you're dead.]

We need = = =>I want

We need to talk= = =>I need to complain

Sure... go ahead = = =>I don't want you to.

It's your decision = = =>The correct decision should be obvious bozo.

Do what you want = = =>You'll pay for this later.

Is my butt fat? = = = =>Tell me I'm beautiful.

Do you like this recipe? = = = => It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.

You' manly = = = =>You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

I want new curtains = = =>and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

You're certainly attentive tonight. = = = = >Is sex all you ever think about?

In answering the question "What's wrong?"

The same old thing = = =>Nothing

Nothing= = => Everything

Everything= = => My PMS is acting up

Nothing, really = = => It's just that you're such an ass.

I don't want to talk about it= = =>Go away, I'm still building up steam.

WHAT WOMEN REALLY MEAN (an updated version)

CAN'T WE JUST BE FRIENDS?..........there is no way in hell I'm going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine, again.

WE'RE MOVING TOO QUICKLY.........I'm not going to sleep with you until I find out if this cute guy at the gym has a girlfriend

OH, NO, I'LL PAY FOR MYSELF.......I'm just being nice! If I do, you can be certain you'll NEVER see me again!

I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.............without you in it

DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?........we haven't had a fight in a while

NO, PIZZA'S cheap slob!

I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW.........I just don't want YOU as a boyfriend now

I DON'T KNOW; WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?......I can't believe you have nothing planned

COME puppy does this too

I LIKE YOU, BUT......I don't like you

OF COURSE I LOVE YOU........just not in THAT way


I'LL BE READY IN A MINUTE...........I'm ready, but I'm going to make you wait because I know you will

OH YES!!! RIGHT THERE........well, near there; I just want to get this over with

I'M JUST GOING OUT WITH THE GIRLS............We're gonna get sloppy and make fun of you, your friends, and all other men.

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