ACTUAL JOB INTERVIEW COMMENTS

Vice presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees. Here are the results !

This text document is SARCASM enhanced !!

A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle.

Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time.

Candidate fell and broke arm during interview.

Candidate announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewers office. ( I wonder if she offered to share any of the fries )

Candidate explained that her long-term goals were to replace the interviewer. ( Maybe a wee bit too anxious )

Candidate said he never finished high school because he was kidnapped and kept in a closet in Mexico.

Balding candidate excused himself and returned to the office a few minutes later wearing a headpiece.

Applicant said if he was hired he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm. ( Why not just get the logo shaved into the back of your head? )

Applicant interrupted interview to phone her therapist for advice on how to answer specific interview questions.

Candidate brought a large dog to the interview. ( I suppose for moral support? )

Applicant refused to sit down and insisted on being interviewed standing up.( Breaking in new sneakers perhaps?)

Candidate dozed off during interview. ( They must have been applying with IBM - Did I just say that ? )

The employers were also asked to list the most unusual questions that have been asked by job candidates.

"What is it that you people do at this company?" ( I dunno.....maybe WORK )

"What is the company motto?"

"Why aren't you in a more interesting business?"

"What are the zodiac signs of all the board members?" ( ......a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind )

"Why do you want references?"

"Do I have to dress for the next interview?"

"I know this is off the subject, but will you marry me?" ( I gotta try that one sometime ! )

"Will the company move my rock collection from California to Maryland?"

"Will the company pay to relocate my horse?"

"Does your health insurance cover pets?"

"Would it be a problem if I'm angry most of the time?"

"Does your company have a policy regarding concealed weapons?"

"Do you think the company would be willing to lower my pay?"

"Why am I here?'

Also included are a number of unusual statements made by candidates during the interview process.

I have no difficulty in starting or holding my bowel movement. ( I'll sleep MUCH better now ! )

At times I have the strong urge to do something harmful or shocking.

I feel uneasy indoors. ( Good. Remain unemployed so you go broke. Then you can live outside forever. )

Sometimes I feel like smashing things. ( Give the new Michael Jackson album a try. )

Women should not be allowed to drink in cocktail bars.

I think that Lincoln was greater than Washington.

I get excited very easily. ( Don't worry........I'm not going there. I'll keep those comments to myself. )

Once a week, I usually feel hot all over.

I am fascinated by fire.

I like tall women.

Whenever a man is with a woman he is usually thinking about sex. ( So, where's the problem !!??!! )

People are always watching me.

If I get too much change in a store, I always give it back.

Almost everyone is guilty of bad sexual conduct. ( Well, at least .........forget it. I wasn't going to say anything. )

I must admit that I am a pretty fair talker. ( I'm also very modest. )

I never get hungry.

I know who is responsible for most of my troubles. ( in fact, I know a few women, not just the one. )

If the pay was right, I'd travel with the carnival.

I would have been more successful if nobody would have snitched on me. ( All Nixon did wrong was get caught )

My legs are really hairy.

I think I'm going to throw up.