CARS THAT GO FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF
LIGHT
"From The Top 5 List, www.topfive.com
-- Copyright 1999, Chris White"
20> Sleep 'til noon. Still get to work by 8:00am!
19> Doppler shift makes red traffic lights look green.
18> Breaking laws of physics only a misdemeanor in most states.
17> Never in car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.
16> Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawking keep bugging you to carpool.
15> No one can see you pick your nose while you drive.
14> Lunch breaks in Paris, circa 1792.
13> LA to Vegas in 2 nanoseconds.
12> You can stop worrying about being sucked into a black hole driving home from work.
11> You'll be so thin while driving it you can even wear horizontal stripes.
10> That deer in your headlights is actually behind you.
9> Kid from Mentos commercial almost guaranteed to lose a limb if he tries to duck
through back seat.
8> Traffic enforcement limited to cops with PhD's in Quantum Physics.
7> Bugs never see you comin'.
6> You can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.
5> Can make a fortune delivering pizza with the slogan "It's there before you
order or it's free!"
4> Car makes it from Hollywood to London fast enough to not arouse suspicions of
Elizabeth Hurley.
3> License plate: "Me=mc2"
2> Cigarette butts don't land in the backseat -- they land in last week! and the Number
1 Cool Thing About a Car that Goes Faster than the Speed of Light...
1> Chicks dig it.
Forgive me rabbi for I have sinned. It's been
27 years since my last confession.1 On March
8th, 1999, I received notification that several of my humor documents were "From
The Top 5 List, www.topfive.com -- Copyright 1999,
Chris White" For a couple of years I have been a fan of Chris White and his Top
5 List. I also regret to announce that far too many hours of my life have been spent
at his web site. Do I regret it? Of course not, it's a great website with
hilarious content. So, to help make up for the time I incorrectly took credit for
his copywritten material, I'd like to ask everyone reading this to check out his
site.....you will not regret it !! Go to http://www.topfive.com
!!
1 (Plagiarizing, humor thief
Brian Mirsky just happens to be 27 years old.)
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