ACTUAL INSURANCE STATEMENTS

The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest possible words. This text document is SARCASM enhanced !!

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of it's intentions.

I thought my window was down but I found out it was up when I put my head through it. ( You moron !! )

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. ( Well, you know, that'll happen. )

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face. ( At least it only hit your wife and not you. )

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.

In my attemt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. ( I hate it when that happens !! )

I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. ( Jolt, Nodoz, ........ )

I was on my way to the doctor with rearend trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident. ( Some people will say just about anything to try to avoid paying the price of their own mistakes. )

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I hit the pedestrian. ( He looked like a loser anyway. )

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle. ( Ah, yeah......that's it.....right ! )

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished. ( The invisible license plate said CASPER )

I told the police that I was not injured but on removing my hat I found that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him. ( 25 points )

The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him. ( It seemed like the thing to do. )

I saw a slowly moving, sad-faced old man as he bounced off the roof of my car. ( $1200 in damage too )

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as I left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.