WHAT NOT TO NAME YOUR DOG
Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover"
or "Boy." I call mine Sex. Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went
to City Hall to renew his dog license I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He
said, "I'd like to have one too." Then I said, "But this is a dog." He
said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand. I've
had Sex since I was nine years old." He said I must have been quite a kid.
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel
clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex. He said that
every room in the place was for sex. I said, "You don't understand. Sex keeps me
awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too."
One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began the dog ran away.
Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I told him I had
planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets.
"But you don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He
called me a showoff.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said,
"Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "Me
too." Then I told him that after I was married Sex left me. He said, "Me
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over
to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?"
I said I was looking for Sex. My case comes up Friday!