NEW IRS TAX LAW
IRS Penis Taxation Form
January 1, 1997
To: All Male Taxpayers
RE: Notice of Increase in Tax Payment Form 1040P
The only thing the IRS has not yet taxed is
your penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed,
20% of the time it is pissed off, 30% of the time it is hard up, and 10% of the time it is
in the hole. On top of this, it has two dependents and both are nuts. Accordingly,
starting January 1, 1997 your penis will be taxed according to it's size. To determine
your category, please consult the chart below and confirm this information on page 2,
section 7, line 3 of your standard 1040 form.
*12-10 inches --Luxury Tax --$50.00
10-8 inches --Pole Tax --$30.00
8-6 inches --Privilege Tax --$15.00
6-4 inches --Nuisance Tax --$5.00
4-2 inches - Hamster Tax -- $1.00
- Anyone under 2 inches is eligible for a full refund.
-*Males exceeding 12 inches must file for Capital Gains.
Please do not request an extension
Internal Revenue Services