TOP 10 REASONS TO SPEND THANKSGIVING ONLINE

10. Best time for quick ftp access: during Thanksgiving dinner.
9. The only stuffed birds on the Web are at www.taxidermy.net and no one there makes you eat a third helping.
8. America Online needs all the billable hours it can get before it forces you to go to a flat rate of $19.95 per month.
7. Online, stuffing is what you knock out of demons in Doom II.
6. One word: yams.
5. www.nfl.com more entertaining than John Madden.
4. Your date won't impress Mom, but your home page might.
3. Entertain boring in-laws with online Quake.
2. InterNIC database says www.ptomaine.com still up for grabs.
1. If you spend even two days offline, Microsoft will win.