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You might be addicted to AOL if.....

.....Tech Support calls "You" for help.
.....Someone at work tells you a joke and you say LOL
.....You watch T.V. with the closed cationing turned on
.....You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other.
.....You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out"
.....Three words: Carpal tunnel syndrome
.....You want to meet a girl/guy and your first impulse is to turn on your computer've ever gotten onto an airplane just to meet some folks face to face have to get a second phone line just so you can call Domino's
.....You have ever joined "Si habla Espanol"(spanish chat room) "just to work on my spanish"'ve ever typed "drinking on AOL is better than drinking alone" go into labor and you stop to type a special e-mail letting everyone know you are going to be away have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it (hehehe) no longer type with proper punctuation, capitolization, or complete sentences... have met over 100 AOLers begin to say hehehe instead of laughing
.....when someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!" find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the night when your spouse is alseep turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't know you are on-line again know more about your AOL friends daily routines than you do your own spouses find yourself lying to others about your time on-line and when they complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the hook have an identity crisis if someone else is using an s/n close to your own would rather tell people your bloodshot eyes are from partying too much instead of the truth (all night on-line) change s/n's so much that you have to get your profile to see who you are're broke, your modem burns out and you go out onto the streets to sell your body to get a new one open your home to 15 strangers for a week merely because they have computers and cool s/n's
.....your kids are standing at your side saying "mommy, please come cook dinner" and you would rather type another "LOL" marry your cyberboyfriend and you both sit at your won computers and chat to each other every night from across the room type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at the same time won't work at a job that doesn't have a modem involved
.....your dog leaves you have to ask what year it is are doing things more and more that you swore you would never, ever do when you first found chat write a letter like this..."dear tom, hiyas! how r u doin well gotta go bbl!" name your pets after people you talk to smile sideways sign on and immediately get 10 messages from people who have you on their buddy lists have a map on the wall with red thumbtacks to mark where people you have met are look at an annoying person off-line and wish you had your ignore button handy bring a bag lunch and a cooler to the puter
.....your significant other kisses your neck while you are chating and you think "uh oh cyber sex pervo" have withdrawls if you are away from the puter for more than a few hours use AOL lingo in everyday life (if you still have one...hehehe) take a speed reading course to keep up with the scrolling
.....your buddy list has over 100 people on it
.....your worst comeback to a bully is "I'll slap you with a rubber chicken." wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is get on-line before you have your first cup of coffee have to inject no-doze into your butt to keep it awake have your puter set up so that it goes directly into AOL's welcome screen (hehehe I used to have that) wait 6 hours online for a certain "special" person to come home from work don't know where the time has gone end sentances with three(or more) periods while writing letters in pen/pencil
.....your relationship online has gone farther than any real one you have had get up at 2am to go the bathroom but go turn on your puter spell things outloud instead of actually saying the word don't even notice anymore when someone has a typo
.....when you enter a room and 23 people greet you with {{{Hugs}}} or ***Kisses*** stop typing whole words and use things like ppl, dunno and lemme
.....your voicemail/answering machine message is "BRB, leave your s/n and I will TTYL" type faster than you think got your psychiatrist addicted on AOL too and are now undergoing therapy in private rooms instead of at his office want to be burried with your computer when it dies...or vice versa actually enjoy the fact that you are addicted can actually read and follow all the names of the cast that scrolls up your tv-screen at the end of a movie
.....people say, if it weren't for your super reflexes in your eyes and fingers, you would have long been classified as a vegetable dream in text
.....being called a newbie is a *MAJOR* insult
.....there is absolutely no interesting chat any room and you are really bored....yet you don't want to leave incase you miss something double click your tv remote can now type over 70 wpm think about starting a 12 step recovery group for AOL junkies are on the phone for a minute and need to do something else you say "BRB" or "BBL" check your e-mail and forget you have real mail aka snail mail go into withdrawls during dinner spend at least 30 minutes making sure you say goodbye to everyone in a room stop speaking in full sentances have gone into an unstaffed tech support room and ended up "giving" tech support to other AOLers have to be pryed from your computer with the Jaws-of-Life
.....your last sexual experience was really just a "textual" experience set your kitchen on fire while cooking dinner because you wanted to "check your mail" and while you were there you "just wanted to see who's on" meet people from AOL in public and have no idea what their real name is, so you call them by their s/n

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