ARE YOU STUCK IN THE EIGHTIES ?

HERE ARE 88 WAYS TO TELL IF YOU'RE STUCK IN THE 80'S

1. your fondest childhood memory is when Skippy got his head stuck in the banister
2. you relax by putting on your legwarmers and dancing to the "Footloose" soundtrack
3. you think the Two Coreys are "totally awesome"
4. you're still bitter that Wham! broke up
5. Punky Brewster is your hero
6. you type all of your term papers on a Commodore 64
7. you still resent your parents for not installing a dumbwaiter in your house like Webster's
8. the only video games you play are Frogger and Pac Man
9. you're building your own Clockwork Smurf
10. your summer attire is Jellies and Jams
11. A-Ha's "Take on Me" is still your favorite video
12. you consider yourself truly, truly, truly outrageous, much like Jem and the Holograms
13. you wonder why more people don't wear high heels, Jordache jeans, and lacy ankle socks
14. you call all motorcycle cops "Ponch"
15. every time you go to the beach you look for Snorks
16. you're still upset Madonna and Sean broke up
17 you know who Stinky Sullivan is
18. you work out with "Get in Shape Girl"
19. you want to be Molly Ringwald when you grow up
20. you enjoy dancing on the ceiling and wearing your sunglasses at night
21. you know who Loverboy is
22. you think there should be a Kids Incorporated original cast reunion
23. you think of Janet Jackson as "that girl who used to date Willis"
24. you can sing the theme song to Small Wonder
25. every time you see a fountain you want to dance around it and yell "Fame!"
26. you still have a shoebox full of Garbage Pail Kid cards
27. you write your congressman asking him to introduce a bill to make "Born in the USA" the national anthem
28. you still use your Snoopy Sno-Cone machine
29. you know it's not "comma, comma, comma" it's karma
30. you stay up nights wondering what Bastian's mother's name was in "The Neverending Story"
31. you have nightmares about the Peculiar Purple Pieman of Porcupine Peak
32. you still practice your Care Bear Stare
33. you know that girls just wanna have fuh-un
34. you can name all The Wuzzles
35. you harbor a secret dream of being slimed by Alistair
36. you can do the Safety Dance
37. in your spare time you are writing "The Breakfast Club 2"
38. you like to "connect the dots, la la la la!"
39. someone metions Jennifer Beals and you don't say "Who?"
40. your prized possesion is a collection of "Return of the Jedi" Shrinky Dinks
41. you know whose number is 867-5309
42. you get depressed thinking about Anthony Michael Hall's career
43. you're starting a write-in campaign to MTV to bring back Remote Control
44. you drink Diet Coke because Max Headroom told you to
45. you consider Jo vs. Blair the major philosophical conflict of the 20th century
46. you have a duck phone and ride around your house on a little train
47. you want to be one of the Solid Gold Dancers
48. you still watch things on Beta
49. you want to change your name to Rio and dance on the sand
50. you know that "Weird Science" was a movie before a tv show
51. your favorite proverb is "some like it hot and some sweat when the heat is on"
52. you always waited for the Sweet Pickles Bus to visit your house
53. your favorite party game is Hungry Hungry Hippos
54. you saw the New Kids on the Block when they were Tiffany's opening act
55. you liked Tom Hanks better when he was a crossdresser
56. you know which Hollywood Square Jm J Bullock was in
57. you practice getting in and out of your car through the windows
58. you have the tendency to turn up the collar of your polo shirts
59. you're still wondering who really was the boss
60. you know what the "P" in "Alex P. Keaton" stands for
61. you keep asking your teachers if instead of the quiz you can take the physical challenge
62. you organize weekend tournaments of TV tag
64. when you watch "Terminator 2" you wonder where Vincent is
65. you know ALF's real name
66. you never go out for a night on the town without frosted blue eyeshadow and feathered bangs
67. you can name all of theThundercats
68. you got a hankerin' for a hunk of cheese
69. everything in your wardrobe is either pastel or fluorescent
70. your musical inspiration is Sonny Mann
71. sometimes you just want to shout, shout, let it all out
72. you're planning a dream vacation to Mepos
73. you use your Speak and Spell to phone home
74. you know the original members of Menudo
75. sometimes out of the blue you just got to shake your love
76. when you're stuck in traffic you tell your car to engage Turbo and are surprised when it doesn't talk back
77. you remember when Vanessa sang Kareoke to "Locomotion"
78. you know that Mr. Steele functions best in an advisory capacity.
79. people are constantly gagging you with spoons
80. your idea of appreciating ancient cultures is "Walk Like an Egyptian"
81. the only thing you know about the Nazis is that they threw Indy to the snakes
82. you still use your hair crimper before going out on a hot date
83. you hatch plots to break Murdock out of VA hospital
84. you know which five people Serpentor's DNA came from
85. you have "We Are the World" on 45
86. you're still sending death threats to Mr. Rubik
87. you can feel St. Elmo's fire burnin' in you
88. you watch NYPD Blue thinking, "Well, they're no Crockett and Tubbs, that's for sure"

SOME ADDITIONS (& MAYBE SOME REPEATS TOO)

You wore anything Izod, especially those windbreakers that folded up into a pouch you could wear around your waist.

You remember when Jordache jeans were cool.

In your fifth grade class picture, you're wearing an Izod shirt with the collar up

You know, by heart, the words to any "Weird" Al Yankovic song

The Brady Bunch movie brought back cool memories

You ever rang someone's doorbell and said "Landshark".

Three words: "Atari" a"IntelliVision" and "Coleco". Sound familiar?

You remember the days when "safe sex" meant "my parents are gone for the weekend"

You remember "Friday Night Videos" before the days of MTV

A predominant color in your childhood photos is "plaid"

While in high school, you and all your friends discussed elaborate plans to get together again at the end of the century and play "1999" by Prince over and over again

You remember when music that was labeled "alternative" really was

You took family trips BEFORE the invention of the mini-van. You rode in the back of the station wagon and you faced the cars behind you.

You've ever conversationally used the phrase "Jane, you ignorant slut."

You watched HR Puffenstuff as a child, but now that you're older, you really understand that it would have been much better had you known about drugs at the time.

You've recently horrified yourself by using any one of the following phases:
- "When I was younger"
- "When I was your age"
- "You know, back when..."

Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you actually learned the English language

You're starting to view getting carded to buy alcohol as a GOOD thing

You ever dressed to emulate a person you saw in either a Duran Duran, Madonna,or Cyndi Lauper video

The first time you ever kissed someone at a dance came during "Crazy for You" by Madonna

You remember with pain the sad day when the Green Machine hit the streets and made your old Big Wheel quite obsolete.

The phrase "Where's the beef?" still doubles you over with laughter.

Honestly remember when film critics raved that no movie could ever possibly get better special effects than those in the movie TRON.

(girls) you thought Sean Cassidy was "dreamy", lusted after "Ted, your ship's photographer" on the Love Boat

You freaked out when you found that you now fall into the "26 - 50" age category on most questionnaires

Your hair, at some point in time in the 80's, became something which can only be described by the phrase "I was experimenting"

This timeline appropriately describes actual events in your life: Star Wars opens, you are still in single digit ages, and you think the creatures are WAY cool. Empire Strikes Back opens, you are now in early double digit ages, and you are convinced that the special effects are much better, the characters are cool, and you want one of every collectible out there. Return of the Jedi hits the theaters...you are now a teenager, and you cannot get your eyes off Princess Leia's breasts or Han Solo's butt.

You've ever shopped at a Banana Republic or Benetton, but not in the last five years, okay?

You're starting to believe (now that it wouldn't affect YOU) that maybe having the kids go to school year-round wouldn't be such a bad idea after all

You're doing absolutely nothing pertaining to your major

You ever wanted to be gagged with a spoon

U2 is too "popular" and "mainstream" for you now

You ever used the phrase "kiss mah grits" in conversation

You remember trying to guess the episode of the Brady Bunch from the first scene.

You spent endless nights dreaming about being the Bionic Woman or Wonder Woman or the Six Million Dollar Man

You had ringside seats for Luke and Laura's wedding (on General Hospital)

You remember "Hey, let's be careful out there"

You're parents wanted you to attend medical school, but you decided it was pointless since Quincy got all the babes, anyway.

You know who shot J.R.

This rings a bell: "and my name, is Charlie. aThey work for me."

You ever wanted to learn to play "Stairway to Heaven" on the guitar.

You were unsure if Diet Coke would ever catch on, after all, look at Tab.

You know all the words to the double album set of Grease.

You ever had a Dorothy Hammill haircut

You sat with your friends on a Friday night and dialed "8-6-7-5-3-0-9" to see if Jenny would answer.

"All-skate, change directions" means something to you.

You owned a pair of Rainbow suspenders just like Mork used to wear.

You bought a pair of Vanns and wanted to order a pizza in history class so you could be just like Jeff Spicoli in Fast Times as Ridgemont High.

You owned a preppy handbook.

You were too young to go see the Blue Lagoon so you just had to settle for second hand reports.

You remember when there was only "G, PG and R", none of this PG-13 crap.

You learned to swim about the same time Jaws came out and still carry the emotional scars to this day.

Wonder twin powers, activate! Form of an iceberg, shape of a hammer

You remember when your cable TV box had the three rows of numbers and you had to move the selector switch accordingly.

You actually believed everything Leonard Nimoy told you on "In Search Of..."

The ABC After School Special "My Mom's Having A Baby" actually taught you stuff you didn't know.

Your jaw would ache by the time you finished those "brick-sized" packages of Bazooka gum.

Bo and Luke Duke.

VCR's cost $1,000.

There was nothing strange about Bert n' Ernie living together.

Rotary dial telephones.