ISDN It Still Does Nothing

APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

SCSI System Can't See It

DOS Defective Operating System

BASIC Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

IBM I Blame Microsoft

DEC Do Expect Cuts

CD-ROM Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete Monthly

OS/2 Obsolete Soon, Too.

WWW World Wide Wait

MACINTOSH Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

PENTIUM Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Math

COBOL Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language

AMIGA A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction

LISP Lots of Infuriating Silly Parentheses

MIPS Meaningless Indication of Processor  Speed

WINDOWS Will Install Needless Data On Whole  System

MICROSOFT Most Intelligent Customers Realize  Our Software Only Fools Teenagers