15> You spent Sunday night in jail for cow-tipping -- with your Oldsmobile.

14> Although armed with fire extinguishers, friends stood at a safe distance as you blew out your birthday candles.

13> Thanks to you, Jack Daniels stock is up 15 1/4 since Friday.

12> Boris Yeltsin called personally to ask you to slow down on the Stoli.

11> For some reason, there's salt on the rim of your basketball goal.

10> Your name is Otis and Sheriff Andy has brought you some of  Aunt Bea's pancakes.

9> For the money you spent on Thunderbird, you could've bought  the *car*.

8> You're now the proud inventor of the "Slim Jim": Ultra  Slim-Fast shakes made with Jim Beam.

7> Answering machine full of warnings from Coach Switzer.

6> Absolut wants to run an add featuring a picture of your liver in the shape of a bottle. 

5> Yet again, dry cleaner employees greet you with, "Hey, it's   VomitMan!"

4> The doorman asks for you I.D. just to see how long it'll take  you to find your pants.

3> Your liver, in a fit of pique, leaps out of your abdominal  cavity into a pan of frying onions.

2> Worried friends call Monday morning to make sure you returned the goat. 

and the Number 1 Sign You Drank Too Much This Weekend...

1> You're now sober enough to realize "Drink Canada Dry" is a  slogan and not a personal challenge.