| THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE |
THE FEMALE STAGES OF LIFE |
| AGE DRINK 17 beer
25 beer
35 vodka
48 double vodka
66 Maalox |
AGE DRINK 17 Wine Coolers
25 White wine
35 Red wine
48 Dom Perignon
66 Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser |
| SEDUCTION LINE 17
My parents are away for the weekend.
25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
35 My fiancee is away for the weekend.
48 My wife is away for the weekend.
66 My second wife is dead. |
EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES 17
Need to wash my hair
25 Need to wash and condition my hair
35 Need to color my hair
48 Need to have Francois color my hair
66 Need to have Francois color my wig |
| FAVORITE SPORT 17
sex
25 sex
35 sex
48 sex
66 napping |
FAVORITE SPORT 17
shopping
25 shopping
35 shopping
48 shopping
66 shopping |
| DRUG 17
pot
25 coke
35 really good coke
48 power
66 coke, a limousine, the company jet |
DRUG 17
shopping
25 shopping
35 shopping
48 shopping
66 shopping |
| DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE 17
"tongue"
25 "breakfast"
35 "She didn't set back my therapy."
48 "I didn't have to meet her kids."
66 "Got home alive." |
DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE 17
"Burger King"
25 "Free meal"
35 "A diamond"
48 "A bigger diamond"
66 "Home Alone" |
| FAVORITE FANTASY 17
getting to third
25 airplane sex
35 menage a trois
48 taking the company public
66 Swiss maid/Nazi love slave |
FAVORITE FANTASY 17
tall, dark and handsome
25 tall, dark and handsome with money
35 tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
48 a man with hair
66 a man |
| HOUSE PET 17
roaches
25 stoned-out college roommate
35 Irish setter
48 children from his first marriage
66 Barbie |
HOUSE PET 17
Muffy the cat
25 Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat
35 Irish setter and Muffy the Cat
48 Children from his first marriage and Muffy the
Cat
66 Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs
Muffy |
| WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED? 17
25
25 35
35 48
48 66
66 17 |
WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED? 17
17
25 25
35 35
48 48
66 66 |
| IDEAL DATE 17
Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in
25 "Split the check before we go back to my
place"
35 "Just come over."
48 "Just come over and cook."
66 sex in the company jet on the way to Vegas.
|
IDEAL DATE 17
He offers to pay
25 He pays
35 He cooks breakfast the next morning
48 He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
66 He can chew breakfast |
