Search This Site:


Boss near?
Leave quick!
panicbut.gif (970 bytes)

      HUMOR MENU
  Random Humor Link
  Online & Internet
  Microsoft & Bill Gates
  Computers & Technology
  Men, Women & Sex
  Stupid People / Crazy Ads
  Life, Living & Location
  Music, Radio, TV & Movies
  Kids, Pets & Animals
  Government & Politics
  Work & Corporate
  Education & Language
  Holiday, Season, Religion
  Travel, Cars & Driving
  Eating, Drinking & Drugs
  One-liners, Quotes, Etc.
  Fun & Funny Things To Do
  All Other / Misc. Humor
  Joke-A-Minute / Archives
  Image / Photo Archives
  FunEHumor Home Page

      SITE MENU
  Get Free Email Updates
  Recommend us to others +
  Visitor Testimonials
  Take Our Site Survey +
  Help Support This Site
  Advertise on FunEHumor
  Send Us Email
  News & Announcements
  Last Mailing List Update +
  Funny Disclaimer
  Privacy Policy
  (+) - opens in new window


Please Show Your Support For This Site!!     (Click this text for details)

---

Votes:14Rating:Rating = 4.43

WARNING LABELS ON PRODUCTS

Due to lawsuits the following warnings are now required:

- On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place"

-On an infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water.

-On a package of Fisherman's Friend(R) throat lozenges: Not meant as a substitute for human companionship.

-On a Magic 8 Ball: Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test.

-On a roll of Life Savers: Not for use as a flotation device.

-On a cup of McDonald's coffee: Allow to cool before applying to groin area.

-On a refrigerator: Refrigerate after opening.

-On a disposable razor: Do not use this product during an earthquake.

-On a handgun: Not recommended for use as a nutcracker.

-On pantyhose: Not to be used in the commission of a felony.

-On a piano: Harmful or fatal if swallowed.

-On a can of Fix-a-Flat: Not to be used for breast augmentation.

-On a Pentium chip: If this product exhibits errors, the manufacturer will replace it for a $2-shipping and a $3-handling charge, for a total of $4.97.

-On work gloves: For best results, do not leave at crime scene.

-On a palm sander: Not to be used to sand palms.

-On a calendar: Use of term "Sunday" for reference only. No meteorological warranties express or implied.

-On Odor Eaters: Do not eat.

-On a blender: Not for use as an aquarium.

-On syrup of ipecac: Caution: May cause vomiting.

-On a revolving door: Passenger compartments for individual use only.

-On a microscope: Objects are smaller and less alarming than they appear.

-On children's alphabet blocks: Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.

SOME OF THE FOLLOWING MAY BE REPEATS.....THEY ARE NEW ENTRIES I JUST RECEIVED.....NO TIME TO CHECK !!

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

*On Sears hair dryer: Do not use while sleeping.

* On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

* On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.

* Some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.

* On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head.

* On Tesco's Tiramisu desert: Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)

* On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.

* On packaging for a Rowenta Iron: Do not iron clothes on body.

* On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.

* On Nytol (a sleep aid): Warning: May cause drowsiness.

* On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children.

* On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.

* On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.

* On Sainsbury's Peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.

* On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

* On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

Votes:14Rating:Rating = 4.43

Join | Remove

New Humor List
Daily Joke List
Weekly Joke List
    

Is this page funny?
Send it to someone!
 

 

 

 


In Association with Amazon.com
Copyright 1998-2007   FunEHumor.com    |    http:\\www.funehumor.com    |     contactus@funehumor.com
The displaying of copyright information on this site is designed to refer to the FunEHumor name, the FunEHumor.com web site address and all elements of the web site itself, including, but not limited to our logos, the site design, layout and overall appearance, and the use of our name publicly or for profit. We are in no way attempting to imply that we have any copyrights or trademarks on or for any of the humorous content/material or humor content/material names located within our web site.