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WARNING, CAUTION, DANGER, AND BEWARE!
Gullibility Virus Spreading over the Internet!
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WASHINGTON, D.C.--The Institute for the Investigation of Irregular Internet Phenomena
announced today that many Internet users are becoming infected by a new virus that causes
them to believe without question every groundless story, legend, and dire warning that
shows up in their In Box or on their browser. The Gullibility Virus, as it is called,
apparently makes people believe and forward copies of silly hoaxes relating to cookie
recipes, E-Mail viruses, taxes on modems, and get-rich-quick schemes [perhaps conspiracy
theories should be included here].
"These are not just readers of tabloids or people who buy lottery tickets based on
fortune cookie numbers," a spokesman said. "Most are otherwise normal p eople,
who would laugh at the same stories if told to them by a stranger on a st reet
corner." However, once these same people become infected with the Gullibility Virus,
they believe anything they read on the Internet. "My immunity to tall tales and
bizarre claims is all gone," reported one weeping victim. "I believe every
warning message and sick child story my friends forward to me, even though most of the
messages are anonymous."
Another victim, now in remission, added, "When I first heard about Good Times, I
just accepted it without question. After all, there were dozens of other recipients on the
mail header, so I thought the virus must be true." It was a long time, the victim
said, before she could stand up at a Hoaxees Anonymous meeting an d state, "My name
is Jane, and I've been hoaxed." Now, however, she is spreading the word.
"Challenge and check whatever you read," she says. Internet users are urged to
examine themselves for symptoms of the virus, which include the following:
* the willingness to believe improbable stories without thinking
* the urge to forward multiple copies of such stories to others
* a lack of desire to take three minutes to check to see if a story is true
T. C. is an example of someone recently infected. He told one reporter, "I read on
the Net that the major ingredient in almost all shampoos makes your hair fal l out, so
I've stopped using shampoo." When told about the Gullibility Virus, T . C. said
he would stop reading e-mail, so that he would not become infected. Anyone with
symptoms like these is urged to seek help immediately. Experts recom mend that at the
first feelings of gullibility, Internet users rush to their fa vorite search engine and
look up the item tempting them to thoughtless credence . Most hoaxes, legends, and tall
tales have been widely discussed and exposed by the Internet community. Courses in
critical thinking are also widely available, and there is online help from many sources,
including
* Department of Energy Computer Incident Advisory
Capability at <
>
Lastly, as a public service, Internet users can help stamp out the Gullibility Virus by
sending copies of this message to anyone who forwards them a hoax.
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Forward this message to all your friends right away! Don't think about it! This is not
a chain letter! This story is true! Don't check it out! This story is so timely, there is
no date on it! This story is so important, we're using lots of exclamation points!!!
For every message you forward to some unsuspecting person, the Home for the
Hopelessly Gullible will donate ten cents to itself. (If you wonder how the Home will k
now you are forwarding these messages all over creation, you're obviously thinking too
much.)
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