Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a
project failed, and who was responsible.
Body Nazis: Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who
doesn't work out obsessively.
Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits over everything
and then leaves.
Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount,
leaving the top brass with clean hands.
Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles.
Idea Hamsters: People who always seem to have their idea generators running.
Mouse Potato: The online, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
Prairie Dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and
people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
SITCOMs: What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working
to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
Squirt the Bird: To transmit a signal to a satellite.
Starter Marriage: A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no
property, and no regrets.
Stress Puppy: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
Swiped Out: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic
strip is worn away from extensive use.
Tourists: People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs.
"We had three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists."
Treeware: Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.
Xerox Subsidy: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
Going Postal: Euphemism for being totally stressed out, for losing it. Makes reference
to the unfortunate track record of postal employees who have snapped and gone on shooting
rampages.
Alpha Geek: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work
group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."
Assmosis: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by
kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
Chips and Salsa: Chips = hardware, salsa = software. "Well, first we gotta figure
out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."
Flight Risk: Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a
company or department soon.
GOOD Job: A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order to
pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
Irritainment: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find
yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.
Percussive Maintenance: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device
to get it to work again.
Uninstalled: Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a vice president at a
downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an uninstalled vice
president. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance." See also
Decruitment.
Vulcan Nerve Pinch: The taxing hand position required to reach all the appropriate keys
for certain commands. For instance, the warm re-boot for a Mac II computer involves
simultaneously pressing the Control key, the Command key, the Return key, and the Power On
key.
Yuppie Food Stamps: The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere. Often used
when trying to split the bill after a meal: "We all owe $8 each, but all anybody's
got is yuppie food stamps."
