Rule #1

Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissable in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.

Rule #2

If you don't want to dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like Soap Opera guys.

Rule #3

If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant it the other way.

Rule #4

It is in neither your best interest or ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.

Rule #5

Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?

Rule #6

Don't rub the lamp unless you want the genie to come out.

Rule #7

You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done - not both.

Rule #8

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials or time-outs.

Rule #9

Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.

Rule #10

Women who wear Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

Rule #11

When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off ramp, you saying "This is our exit" is not necessary.

Rule #12

Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

Rule #13

Don't forget the previous twelve rules. Men are exempt from having to remind you, since they probably will forget themselves.