Search This Site:


Boss near?
Leave quick!
panicbut.gif (970 bytes)

      HUMOR MENU
  Random Humor Link
  Online & Internet
  Microsoft & Bill Gates
  Computers & Technology
  Men, Women & Sex
  Stupid People / Crazy Ads
  Life, Living & Location
  Music, Radio, TV & Movies
  Kids, Pets & Animals
  Government & Politics
  Work & Corporate
  Education & Language
  Holiday, Season, Religion
  Travel, Cars & Driving
  Eating, Drinking & Drugs
  One-liners, Quotes, Etc.
  Fun & Funny Things To Do
  All Other / Misc. Humor
  Joke-A-Minute / Archives
  Image / Photo Archives
  FunEHumor Home Page

      SITE MENU
  Get Free Email Updates
  Recommend us to others +
  Visitor Testimonials
  Take Our Site Survey +
  Help Support This Site
  Advertise on FunEHumor
  Send Us Email
  News & Announcements
  Last Mailing List Update +
  Funny Disclaimer
  Privacy Policy
  (+) - opens in new window


Please Show Your Support For This Site!!     (Click this text for details)

---

Votes:3Rating:Rating = 4.33

AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT

CONGRESS PASSES AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT

WASHINGTON, DC--On Tuesday, Congress approved the Americans With No Abilities Act, sweeping new legislation that provides benefits and protection for more than 135 million talentless Americans. The act, signed into law by President Clinton shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory for the millions upon millions of US citizens who lack any real skills or uses.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans--through no fault of their own--do not possess the talent necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Clinton, a longtime ANA supporter. Their lives are futile hamster-wheel existences of unrewarding, dead-end busywork: Xeroxing  documents written by others, filling in mail-in rebates for Black & Decker toaster ovens, and processing bureaucratic forms that nobody will ever see. Sadly, for these millions of non-abled Americans, the American dream of working hard and moving up through the ranks is simply not a reality."

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million important- sounding "middle man" positions will be created in the white-collar sector for nonabled persons, providing them with an illusory sense of purpose and ability. Mandatory, non-performance-based raises and promotions will also be offered to create a sense of upward mobility for even the most unremarkable, utterly replaceable employees.

The legislation also provides corporations with incentives to hire non-abled workers, including tax breaks for those who hire one non-Aryan worker for every two talented new hires. Finally, the Americans With No Abilities Act also contains tough new measures to prevent discrimination against the non- abled by banning prospective employers from asking such job-interview questions as, "What can you bring to this organization?" and "Do you have any special skills that would make you an asset to this company?"

"As a non-abled person, I frequently find myself unable to keep up with co->workers who have something going for them," said Elaine Gertz, who lost her position as an unessential filing clerk at a Cleveland tile wholesaler last month because of her lack of notable skills. "This new law should  really help people like me."

With the passage of the Americans With No Abilities Act, Gertz and millions of other untalented, nonessential citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. Said Clinton: "It is our duty, both as lawmakers and as human beings, to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her of value to society, some sort of space to take up in this great nation.

Votes:3Rating:Rating = 4.33

Join | Remove

New Humor List
Daily Joke List
Weekly Joke List
    

Is this page funny?
Send it to someone!
 

 

 

 


In Association with Amazon.com
Copyright 1998-2007   FunEHumor.com    |    http:\\www.funehumor.com    |     contactus@funehumor.com
The displaying of copyright information on this site is designed to refer to the FunEHumor name, the FunEHumor.com web site address and all elements of the web site itself, including, but not limited to our logos, the site design, layout and overall appearance, and the use of our name publicly or for profit. We are in no way attempting to imply that we have any copyrights or trademarks on or for any of the humorous content/material or humor content/material names located within our web site.