Wuz de nite befo Crimmus;

And all over the hood,

Ereybody wuz' sleepin';

Dey wuz sleepin' good.

We hunged up our stockings;

And hoped like de' heck,

That ole' Sanna Clawz

Be bringin' our check.

All o'de fambily,

Wuz layin' in de beds,

While Ripple and Thunderbird,

Danced through dey heads.

I passed out inna' flo;

Right next to my Maw,

When I heard sech a fuss,

I thunk: "It mus be de law!"

I looked our thru de bars;

What covered my doe,

'Spectin' de sheriff,

Wif a warrant fo sho!

And what did I see;

I said, "Lawd, look at dat!"

Ther' wuz a huge wadda mellon,

Pulled by giant warf rats!

Now ober all de years;

Santa Clawz, he be white,

But looks liken us bros,

Gets a black Santa dis nite.

Faster dan a Po'lees car;

My home boy he came,

He whupped on dem warf rats,

An' called dem by name!

"On Leroy, on Lonzo;

And on Willie Lee,

On Shenaenae, On Chenequa,"

Dey wuz a site to see!

As he landed dat wadda' mellon;

Out der in da skreet,

I knowed it fo' sho',

Da damndest site I ebber did see.

He didn't go down no chimbley;

He picked da' lock on my doe;

An' I sez to myself,

"Shit! He done dis befoe!"

He had dis big bag;

Full of prezents I 'xpect,

Wid Air Jordans and fake gold,

To wear roun' my neck.

But he left no good prezents,

Jus started stealing my shit,

Got my drugs, got my guns,

Even got my burglar's kit!

Wit my stuff in de bag,

Out da window he flewed,

I woudda' tried to catched him,

But he stoled my 'nife too!

He jumped on dat wadda' mellon;

An' whipped out a switch,

He wuz gone in a seccon';

Dat son of a bitch!

Next year I be hopin';

Anutha Santa we git,

Cuz' diz here Sanna Clawz;

Jus' ain't werf a shit!!!!