Search This Site:


Boss near?
Leave quick!
panicbut.gif (970 bytes)

      HUMOR MENU
  Random Humor Link
  Online & Internet
  Microsoft & Bill Gates
  Computers & Technology
  Men, Women & Sex
  Stupid People / Crazy Ads
  Life, Living & Location
  Music, Radio, TV & Movies
  Kids, Pets & Animals
  Government & Politics
  Work & Corporate
  Education & Language
  Holiday, Season, Religion
  Travel, Cars & Driving
  Eating, Drinking & Drugs
  One-liners, Quotes, Etc.
  Fun & Funny Things To Do
  All Other / Misc. Humor
  Joke-A-Minute / Archives
  Image / Photo Archives
  FunEHumor Home Page

      SITE MENU
  Get Free Email Updates
  Recommend us to others +
  Visitor Testimonials
  Take Our Site Survey +
  Help Support This Site
  Advertise on FunEHumor
  Send Us Email
  News & Announcements
  Last Mailing List Update +
  Funny Disclaimer
  Privacy Policy
  (+) - opens in new window


Please Show Your Support For This Site!!     (Click this text for details)

---

[an error occurred while processing this directive]

12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS DIARY

>   December 14, 1972

>   My dearest darling John:
>   Who ever in the whole world would dream of getting a real
>   Partridge in a Pear Tree?  How can I ever express my pleasure.
>   Thank you a hundred times for thinking of me this way.

>                                My love always,
>                                 Agnes


>   December 15, 1972

>   Dearest John:
>   Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine two
>   turtle doves.  I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift.
>   They are just adorable.

>                             All my love,
>                                 Agnes

>   December 16, 1972

>   Dear John:
>   Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one.  Now I must protest.  I
>   don't deserve such generosity, three French hens.  They are just
>   darling but I  must insist, you've been too kind.

>                            All my love,
>                                 Agnes


>   December 17, 1972

>   Dear John:
>   Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really, they
>   are beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough. You are
>   being too romantic.

>                             Affectionately,
>                                 Agnes

>   December 18, 1972

>   Dearest John:
>   What a surprise. Today the postman delivered five golden rings,
>   one for every finger. You're just impossible, but I love it.
>   Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my
>   nerves.

>                                 All my love,
>                                 Agnes


>   December 19, 1972

>   Dear John:
>   When I opened the door today there were actually six geese
>   laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again huh?
>   These geese are huge. Where will I ever keep them? The neighbors
>   are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket.
>   Please stop.
>                                 Cordially,
>                                 Agnes

>   December 20, 1972

>   John:
>   What's with you and those freaking birds??  Seven swans a
>   swimming. What kind of damn joke is this?  There's bird poop all
>   over the house and they never stop the racket.  I can't sleep at
>   night and I'm a nervous wreck.  It's not funny.  So stop those
>   freaking birds.

>                             Sincerely,
>                               Agnes


>   December 21, 1972

>   O.K. Buster:
>   I think I prefer the birds.  What the hell am I going to do with
>   8 maids a milking?  It's not enough with all those birds and 8
>   maids a milking, but they had to bring their damn cows. There is
>   manure all over the lawn and I can't move in my own house. Just
>   lay off me, smartass.
>                                 Agnes


>   December 22, 1972

>   Hey Shithead:
>   What are you?  Some kind of sadist?  Now there's nine pipers
>   playing. And Christ do they play.  They've never stopped chasing
>   those maids since they got here yesterday morning.  The cows are
>   getting upset and they're stepping all over those screeching 
>  birds.
>   What am I going to do?  The neighbors have started a petition to
>   evict me.

>                                You'll get yours !
>                                 Agnes


>   December 23, 1972

>   You rotten prick:
>   Now there's ten ladies dancing. I don't know why I call those
>   sluts ladies. They've been balling those pipers all night long.
>   Now the cows can't sleep and they've got diarrhea. My living
>   room is a river of shit.  The Commissioner of Buildings has
>   subpoenaed me to give cause why the building shouldn't be condemned.

>                               I'm calling the police on you !
>                                 Agnes


>   December 24, 1972

>   Listen Fuckhead:
>   What's with those eleven lords a leaping on those maids and
>   ladies? Some of those broads will never walk again. Those pipers
>   ran through the maids and have been committing sodomy with the
>   cows. All twenty-three of the birds are dead.  They've been
>   trampled to death in the orgy.  I hope you're satisfied, you
>   rotten vicious swine.
>                                 Your sworn enemy,
>                                 Agnes


>   December 25, 1972

>   Dear Sir:

>   This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers
>   fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss
>  Agnes

>  McHolstein. The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondence
>   should come to our attention.  If you should attempt to reach Miss
>   McHolstein at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have been
>   instructed to shoot you on sight.
>   With this letter please find attached a warrant for your arrest.

>                                 Cordially,
>                                 Law Offices of
>                                 Badger, Bender and Chole

[an error occurred while processing this directive]

Join | Remove

New Humor List
Daily Joke List
Weekly Joke List
    

Is this page funny?
Send it to someone!
 

 

 

 


In Association with Amazon.com
Copyright 1998-2007   FunEHumor.com    |    http:\\www.funehumor.com    |     contactus@funehumor.com
The displaying of copyright information on this site is designed to refer to the FunEHumor name, the FunEHumor.com web site address and all elements of the web site itself, including, but not limited to our logos, the site design, layout and overall appearance, and the use of our name publicly or for profit. We are in no way attempting to imply that we have any copyrights or trademarks on or for any of the humorous content/material or humor content/material names located within our web site.