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MANLINESS TEST
Please take the following Manliness Assessment...
1) In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
a) lovemaking
b) screwing
c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town
2) You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
a) your views about what you expect from a sexual
relationship
b) your blood-test results
c) five tequila slammers
3) You time your orgasm so that:
a) your partner climaxes first
b) you both climax simultaneously
c) you don't miss SportsCenter
4) Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
a) healthy, creative love-play
b) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever
agree to
c) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever
find out about
5) Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
a) the best part of the experience
b) the second best part of the experience
c) $100 extra
6) Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it
is:
a) No concern of yours
b) not a problem, she can join your gym
c) a conservative estimate
7) You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
a) a myth
b) an oxymoron
c) a moron
8) Foreplay is to sex as:
a) appetizer is to entree
b) primer is to paint
c) a line is to an amusement park ride
9) Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a
relationship?
a) "I hope we can still be friends."
b) "I'm not in right now, please leave a message
at the beep."
c) "Welcome to Dumpsville; population,
YOU."
10) A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
a) probably needs a little more time before she can
cope with that sort of intimacy
b) is uptight and a waste of time
c) shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the
first place
Evaluating the results:
If you answered "a" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you
really are a man.
If you answered "b" more than 7 times,
check into therapy, you're little confused.
If you answered "c" more than 7
times, "You DA MAN!"
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