BENEFITS OF BEING FEMALE

* We got off the Titanic first.

* We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

* We never ejaculate prematurely.

* We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

* We absently hum tunes from musicals without anyone being suspect of our sexuality.

* When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous.  When men buy a blow up doll it's pathetic.

* We don't have to get our strength up between sessions...and it's much easier for us to get "some" in the first place.

* We can get off with teenagers without being called dirty old perverts.

* Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous -  guys look like complete idiots in ours.

* We can be groupies.  Male groupies are stalkers.

* We can cry and get off speeding fines.

* We live longer, so we can be cantankerous old biddies wearing  inappropriate clothes and shouting at strangers...... Men die earlier so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

* Taxis stop for us.

* We've never fancied a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

* We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

                 - Submitted by Avi Golden