MERGERS AND ACQUISITIONS

The last few weeks have seen many mergers, and anticipating them could mean excellent market gains. Here are some likely mergers to expect in the future.

Xerox and Wurlitzer: They're going to make reproductive organs.

Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers: New company will be called Fairwell Honeychild.

Polygram Records, Warner Brothers and Keebler: New company will be called Poly-Warner-Cracker.

W. R. Grace Co., Fuller Brush Co., Mary Kay Cosmetics, and Hale Business Systems: New company will be called Hale Mary Fuller Grace.

3M & Goodyear:  mmmGood

John Deere & Abitibi-Price: Deere Abi

Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil: Honey, I'm Home

Denison Mines, Alliance, and Metal Mining: Mine, All Mine

3M, J.C. Penney, Metropolitan Opera Company: 3 Penney Opera

Grey Poupon & Dockers Pants: Poupon Pants

Knott's Berry Farm & National Organization of Women: Knott NOW!

Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco, Dakota Mining: Zip Audi Do-Da

Netscape & Yahoo: Net 'n' Yahoo