MINNESOTA GUIDE TO COMPUTER TERMS

LOG ON : making da vood stove hotter
LOG OFF : don't add vood
MONITOR : keep an eye on da vood stove
MEGAHERTZ : vhen a big log drops on your barefoot in da mornin
FLOPPY DISK : vhat you get from piling too much vood
RAM : da hydraulic thing dat makes da voodsplitter vork
HARD DRIVE : getting home during most of da vinter
PROMPT : vhat ya vish da mail vas during da snow season
ENTER : come on in
WINDOWS : vhat ya shut vhen it gets 10 degrees below 0
SCREEN : vhat is a must during mosquito season
CHIP : vhat ya munch during da Vikings games
MICROCHIP : vhat's left in da bag vhen da chips are gone
MODEM : vhat ya did to da hay fields last Yuly
DOT MATRIX : Sven Matrix's vife
LAPTOP : vhere da grandkids sit
KEYBOARD : vhere ya suppose to put da keys so da Misses can find em
SOFTWARE : da plastic picnic utensils, ya?
MOUSE : vhat leaves dem little turds in da cupboard
MAINFRAME : da part of da sauna that holds up da roof
PORT : vhere da commericial fishin boats dock
RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY : vhen ya can't remember how much ya spent on da new deer rifle vhen da vife asks about it.