HOW TO DRIVE PEOPLE CRAZY
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY AND DRIVE OTHER PEOPLE CRAZY
Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice)
Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day
after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the oppositive
In the memo field of all your paychecks, write 'for sexual favors'.
Put decafe in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their
caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
Send E-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example:
"If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive.
Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
Insist that your E-mail address is:
Everytime someone asks you to do something , ask if they want fries with that.
Suggest that the Coke machine be filled with beer.
Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
Determine how many cups of coffee is "too many".
Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
For a relaxing break, get away from it all in the fish tank with a mask and snorkel.
If no one notices, ditch the snorkel and see how many fish you can catch in your
Send E-mail messages that advertizse free pizza, doughnuts, etc., in the breakroom.
When people complain that there was nothing there, lean back, rub your stomach, and say
"You've got to be faster than that."
When driving colleagues around, insist on keeping your windshield wipers runing during all
weather conditions to keep'em tuned up.
Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
Practice making fax and modem noises.
Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers, then cc: them to your boss.
Finish all your sentences with, "In accordance with the prophecy".
Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working
area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
Don't use any punctuation.
As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
Ask people what sex they are.
While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if
they slow down.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
Stomp on plastic ketchup packets.
TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
type only in lowercase.
Sing along at the opera.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in
And the final way to annoy people:
Send this E-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or have
asked you not to send them stuff like this.