Search This Site:


Boss near?
Leave quick!
panicbut.gif (970 bytes)

      HUMOR MENU
  Random Humor Link
  Online & Internet
  Microsoft & Bill Gates
  Computers & Technology
  Men, Women & Sex
  Stupid People / Crazy Ads
  Life, Living & Location
  Music, Radio, TV & Movies
  Kids, Pets & Animals
  Government & Politics
  Work & Corporate
  Education & Language
  Holiday, Season, Religion
  Travel, Cars & Driving
  Eating, Drinking & Drugs
  One-liners, Quotes, Etc.
  Fun & Funny Things To Do
  All Other / Misc. Humor
  Joke-A-Minute / Archives
  Image / Photo Archives
  FunEHumor Home Page

      SITE MENU
  Get Free Email Updates
  Recommend us to others +
  Visitor Testimonials
  Take Our Site Survey +
  Help Support This Site
  Advertise on FunEHumor
  Send Us Email
  News & Announcements
  Last Mailing List Update +
  Funny Disclaimer
  Privacy Policy
  (+) - opens in new window


Please Show Your Support For This Site!!     (Click this text for details)

---

Votes:35Rating:Rating = 3.76

WOMEN'S ENGLISH  /  MEN'S ENGLISH

Women's English:

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

We need to talk = I need to complain.

Sure go ahead = I don't want you to.

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]

Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he falls asleep.

I'm not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is Important.

The same old thing = Nothing

Nothing = Everything

Everything = My PMS is acting up.

Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an asshole.

-----------------------------------------------------

Men's English:

"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry.

"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy.

"I'm tired" = I'm tired.

"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you.

"What's wrong?" = I don't see why your making such a big deal about this.

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.

"I'm bored." = Do you want to have sex?

"I love you." = Let's have sex now.

"I love you, too." = Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now!

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better before.

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!

"Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.

"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

(while shopping)  "I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

"I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together."  = I am gay

Votes:35Rating:Rating = 3.76

Join | Remove

New Humor List
Daily Joke List
Weekly Joke List
    

Is this page funny?
Send it to someone!
 

 

 

 


In Association with Amazon.com
Copyright 1998-2007   FunEHumor.com    |    http:\\www.funehumor.com    |     contactus@funehumor.com
The displaying of copyright information on this site is designed to refer to the FunEHumor name, the FunEHumor.com web site address and all elements of the web site itself, including, but not limited to our logos, the site design, layout and overall appearance, and the use of our name publicly or for profit. We are in no way attempting to imply that we have any copyrights or trademarks on or for any of the humorous content/material or humor content/material names located within our web site.