MORE REALLY STUPID PEOPLE
IDIOTS & RETAILING
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had
never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she would not
complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained
that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I
just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She
carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the receipt. As luck would
have it, they matched.
IDIOTS & GEOGRAPHY
After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, I described the person to my
boss as rather monosyllabic. My boss said, "Really? Where is
Monosyllabia?" Thinking that he was just kidding, I played along and said that
it was just south of Elbonia. He replied, "Oh, you mean over by Croatia?"
ADVICE FOR IDIOTS
An actual tip from page 16 of the HP 'Environmental, Health & Safety Handbook for
Employees': "Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes."
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township
administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.
IDIOTS & COMPUTERS
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank.
Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers.
One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this
question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a
IDIOTS ARE EASY TO PLEASE
I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher commented that the next day would be
the shortest day of the year. My lab partner became visibly excited, cheering and
clapping. I explained that the amount of daylight changes, not the actual amount of time.
Needless to say, she was very disappointed.
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual
behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they
only had iceberg.
AN IDIOT'S IDIOT
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his
head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's
lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they
thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was
working, the suspect confessed.