Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. However,
all the league records were unfortunately destroyed in a fire. Thus we'll never know for
whom the Tells bowled.
A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm
shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to
be a little patient."
A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live
forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day his supply of the birds ran
out, so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on
the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested
and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.
A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the
assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a
sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the
brujo looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who
Back in the 1800s the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other
products and, since they already made the cases for pocket watches, decided to market
compasses for the pioneers traveling west. It turned out that although their watches were
of finest quality, their compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or
Mexico rather than California. This, of course, is the origin of the expression, "He
who has a Tates is lost!"
A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the lavatory equipment. A
spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on."
A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from
the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who
apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."
There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin. One slept on an elk skin and
the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant and the first two each
had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This goes to
prove that the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other