When you take a long time, you're slow.

When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

When you don't get something done, you're lazy.

When your boss doesn't get something done, he's too busy.

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.

When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When you do it your own way, you don't do what your told.

When your boss does it, he's showing creativity.

When you do it on your own, you're overstepping your bounds.

When your boss does it, he's demonstrating initiative.

When you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.

When your boss takes a stand, he's being firm.

When you violate a rule, you're self-centered.

When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.

When you please your boss, you're brown-nosing.

When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.

When you help a peer, you're not busy enough.

When your boss does it, he's a team player.

When someone else does your work, you're passing the buck.

When someone else does his work, he's assigning responsibility.

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.

When your bosses out of the office, he's on business.

When you call in sick, you're going golfing.

When your boss calls in sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.

When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.

When you're seen shopping during work hours, you're a slacker.

When your boss is doing the same, he's picking up office supplies.

When you get a raise, you're lucky.

When he gets one, he really earned it.

When you do a good job, you get a pat on the back.