1.MARKETING - You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid
having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is
pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.
2. SALES - Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a
degree." You are also self centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs
you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers so you can
"concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for your golf game
throughout your life.
3. TECHNOLOGY - Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead
content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU
don't understand what you are saying but who the hell can tell. It is written that Geeks
shall inherit the Earth.
4. ENGINEERING - One of only two signs that actually studied in school. It is said that
ninety percent of all Personal Ads are placed by engineers. You can be happy with
yourself; your office is full of all the latest "ergo dynamic" gadgets. However,
we all know what is really causing your "carpal tunnel syndrome."
5. ACCOUNTING - The only other sign that studied in school. You are mostly immune from
office politics. You are the most feared person in the organization; combined with your
extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors concerning you say that you are
6. HUMAN RESOURCES - Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you
tend to be the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other person that
does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because you have
to get a haircut, have lunch AND then mail a letter.
7. MANAGEMENT/MIDDLE MANAGEMENT - Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are
destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single
decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for
yourself. Best suited to marry other "Middle Managers" as everyone in you social
circle is a "Middle Manager."
8. SENIOR MANAGEMENT - (See above - Same sign, different title)
9. CUSTOMER SERVICE - Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty cent cab ride from
taking your own life. As children very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle
for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer Service."
Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to sleep with your manager.
10. CONSULTANT - Lacking any specific knowledge, you use acronyms to avoid revealing
your utter lack of experience. You have convinced yourself that your "skills"
are in demand and that you could get a higher paying job with any other organization in a
heartbeat. You will spend an eternity contemplating these career opportunities without
ever taking direct action.
11. RECRUITER, "HEADHUNTER" - As a "person" that profits from the
success of others, you are disdained by most people who actually work for a living. Paid
on commission and susceptible to alcoholism, your ulcers and frequent heart attacks
correspond directly with fluctuations in the stock market.
12. PARTNER, PRESIDENT, CEO - You are brilliant or lucky. Your inability to figure out
complex systems such as the fax machine suggest the latter.
13. GOVERNMENT WORKER - Paid to take days off. Government workers are genius inventors,
like the invention of new Holidays. They usually suffer from deep depression or anxiety
and usually commit serious crimes while on the job...thus the term "GO POSTAL".