This letter is being sent to you because we know you are critically interested in your front lawn, and this summer season will soon be upon us. This is a fertilizer club and will not cost you a cent to join.

Upon receipt of this letter, go to the address at the top of this list and shit on their front lawn. You won't be the only one there, so don't be embarrassed. Then make five copies of this letter and send it to five of your friends who appreciate good lawns.

You will not get any money or checks, but within one week, if this chain is not broken, there will be 9,216 people shitting on your front lawn. Your reward will come next summer when you will have the greenest lawn in your neighborhood.

Mrs. Lucy Bowels 19 Bedpan Cover Weymouth, Mass.

Mrs. Paula Crapp 422 Enema Drive Quincy, Mass.

Mrs. Charles Syringe 109 Suppository Drive Fink, Texas

Mrs. Smelly B. Hind 416 Diarrhea Way Kansas City, Missouri

Mrs. O. Howie Farts 896 Rectum Road Washington, D.C.

Mrs. A. Bigger Movement 276 Fertilizer Way Melton, Mass.

If you are constipated, pass this along to your neighbors.

DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN------- One man didn't give a shit and lost his entire lawn.