"all unattended children given free kitten"
"We repair what your husband fixed."
Pizza shop slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one Weak."
At a tire shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
Door of a plastic surgeon's office:
"Hello, can we pick your nose?"
Sign at the psychic's Hotline:
"Don't call us, we'll call you."
At a Towing Company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
Billboard on the side of the road:
"Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs."
On an Electricians truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate
On Maternity Room Door:
"Push, Push, Push."
At an Optometrists Office
"If you don't see what your looking for you've come to the right place."
On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
On a fence:
"Salesmen Welcome, Dog food is expensive."
Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary, we'll hear you coming."
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes, Sit! Stay!"
Inside a Bowling Alley:
"Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop."
In the front yard of a funeral home:
"Drive carefully, we'll wait."
In a counselors office:
"Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional.