I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a
pickup truck causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder. This evidently pissed the
driver off enough that he hung his head out his window and flipped the woman off.
"Man, that guy is stupid" I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in
a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic and here's why:
I drive 38 miles each way every day to work, that's 76 miles. Of these, 16 miles each
way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8-lane highway so if you
just look at the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass something like a new car every 40
feet per lane. That's 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars
every mile, or 31,424 cars. Even though the rest of the 34 miles is not bumper to bumper.
I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like
36,000 cars I pass every day. Statistically half of these are driven by females, that's
In any given group of females 1 in 28 are having the worst day of their period. That's
642. According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or
unrewarding, that's 449. According to the National Institutes of Health, 22% of all
females have seriously considered suicide or homicide, that's 98. And 34% describe men as
their biggest problem, that's 33. According to the National Rifle Association 5% of
all females carry weapons and this number is increasing. That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY,
I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest
problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, is having the worst day of her
period, and is armed.