With Viagra such a great medical success for increasing men's sexual prowess, Pfizer is
bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in
today's society. Here are a few of the new ones:
DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72
percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group
of 0.2 percent.
PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually
finish a household repair project before starting a new one.
COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug
noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects
extend to noticing new clothing.
BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their
sweeties expensive jewellery and gifts after taking this drug for only two days. Still to
be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favourite store's
NEGA-VIAGRA - Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical
trials on sitting U.S. presidents.
NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off
televised sports and actually converse with other family members.
FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases back into food
solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides.
FLYAGRA - This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open
Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra.
PRYAGRA - About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an
irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people. Note: Apparent
overdose turned three test subjects into "special prosecutors."
LIAGRA - This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being asked about their
sexual affairs. Will be available in Regular, Grand Jury and Presidential Strength