I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some midlevel governmental
functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out
I'm not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!
I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or Marilyn Manson
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer.
I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.
I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in English.
I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular
opinions or actions.
I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at
In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put you through 4-7 years of college,
you haven't begun to be enlightened.
My heroes are John Wayne, the Simpsons, and whoever canceled Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.
I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I am
freezing my ass through a long winter?
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in the desert
after getting chased out of Egypt, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the
Turks and neither have you, so shut up.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches.
And where does he get his money. And why is he always part of the problem and not the
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them.
I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you are breaking the law,
regardless of what color you are.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who
should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
I hate those idots standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or trying to
guilt me into making 'donations' to their cause. These people should be targets.
I think if you are in the passing lane, and not passing, your license should be
revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise to never delay the
rest of us again.
I think beef jerky could quite possibly be the perfect food.