Hold on to your chad.

Texas Executes Last Remaining Citizen

Court Clears AOL Time Warner GE-Disney Cisco Ford RJR-Nabisco Exxon-Mobil of Monopoly Charges

50-Year Study: Diet and Exercise Key to Weight Loss

Baby Conceived Naturally

It Wasn't the Cigarettes - It Was the Ashtrays

Great and Benevolent Galactic Ruler Reveals That Anal Probes Were "Just For Fun"

Mother Monica Dies: Revered Hero of Bangkok Slums Overcame Lurid Past With U.S. President

Florida to Be Readmitted to Union

Plague of Spotted Owls Threaten Crops, Livestock

Wealthy Widow Anna Nicole Smith, 83, Weds Handsome Young Actor. "This Is True Love," he beams.

Construction Begins On Grenada War Memorial In DC

President "Bonecrusher" Jones to Face Chief Justice "Mad Dog" Ortega In Cage Match!

Baltimore Rams Defeat St. Louis Ravens

Pope Phil II Settles Custody Battle With Ex-Wife

Upcoming NFL Draft Likely to Focus On Mutants

Elder Generation's Music Provokes Outrage among Youth

DC Zoo to Receive Rare Cow

Authentic Year 2000 Chad Sells For $6.9 Million at Sotheby's

Nursing Home Lawsuit Case: Clinton Denies Candy Striper's Allegations