FEDERAL AVIATION ADMINISTRATION TRANSPORTATION SECURITY SCREENER ATTITUDE ASSESSMENT
To insure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intent on killing us,
airport screeners will not be allowed to profile people. They will continue random
searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification,
Secret Service agents who are members of the President's security detail, 85-year old
Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal of Honor winning former state Governors.
In accordance with this policy, Transportation Security Screener applicants are
being asked to take the following test, which will ensure that employees do not harbor
hidden biases that could lead to unfortunate assumptions:
In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, Israeli athletes were kidnapped and massacred by:
a. Olga Corbutt
b. Sitting Bull
c. Arnold Schwartzeneger
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1979, the U.S. embassy in Iran was taken over by:
a. Lost Norwegians
b. Elvis
c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:
a. John Dillinger
b. The King of Sweden
c. The Boy Scouts
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
a. A pizza delivery boy
b. Pee Wee Herman
c. Geraldo Rivera making up for a slow news day
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old American
passenger was murdered in his wheelchair and thrown overboard by:
a. The Smurfs
b. Davy Jones
c. The Little Mermaid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a U.S. Navy diver was murdered by:
a. Captain Kid
b. Charles Lindberg
c. Mother Teresa
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
a. Scooby Doo
b. The Tooth Fairy
c. Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
a. Richard Simmons
b. Grandma Moses
c. Michael Jordan
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
a. Mr. Rogers
b. Hillary Clinton
c. The World Wrestling Federation
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked and destroyed and thousands of people were
murdered by:
a. Bugs Bunny, Wile E. Coyote, Daffy Duck, Elmer Fudd
b. Florida's Governor Jeb Bush
c. Mr. Bean
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
a. Enron
b. The Lutheran Church
c. The NFL
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 2002 four French journalists, incuding one woman, were dragged from their cars near
the Pakistan border with Afghanistan, taken behind some rocks, and shot to death by:
a. Gang Green's front four
b. Barney
c. The Smashing Pumpkins
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
a. Bonny and Clyde
b. Captain Kangaroo
c. Billy Graham
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
Now, please review your answers according to the following key:
D
If you answered any of the questions incorrectly, please go to
the following link to apply for an airport screening position...
http://www.tsa.dot.gov/employment/tss.shtm
