Search This Site:


Boss near?
Leave quick!
panicbut.gif (970 bytes)

      HUMOR MENU
  Random Humor Link
  Online & Internet
  Microsoft & Bill Gates
  Computers & Technology
  Men, Women & Sex
  Stupid People / Crazy Ads
  Life, Living & Location
  Music, Radio, TV & Movies
  Kids, Pets & Animals
  Government & Politics
  Work & Corporate
  Education & Language
  Holiday, Season, Religion
  Travel, Cars & Driving
  Eating, Drinking & Drugs
  One-liners, Quotes, Etc.
  Fun & Funny Things To Do
  All Other / Misc. Humor
  Joke-A-Minute / Archives
  Image / Photo Archives
  FunEHumor Home Page

      SITE MENU
  Get Free Email Updates
  Recommend us to others +
  Visitor Testimonials
  Take Our Site Survey +
  Help Support This Site
  Advertise on FunEHumor
  Send Us Email
  News & Announcements
  Last Mailing List Update +
  Funny Disclaimer
  Privacy Policy
  (+) - opens in new window


Please Show Your Support For This Site!!     (Click this text for details)

---

Votes:64Rating:Rating = 4.51

DIS-ORDER IN THE COURT

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

     Q: Are you sexually active?
     A: No, I just lie there.
 _______________________________

     Q: What is your date of birth?
     A: July 15.
     Q: What year?
     A: Every year.
______________________________________

     Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
     A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________

     Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
     A: Yes.
     Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
     A: I forget.
     Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
 _____________________________________

     Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
     A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
     Q: How long has he lived with you?
      A: Forty-five years.
 _____________________________________

     Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
     A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
     Q: And why did that upset you?
     A: My name is Susan.
 ______________________________________

     Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
     A: We both do.
     Q: Voodoo?
     A: We do.
     Q: You do?
     A: Yes, voodoo.
 ______________________________________

     Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
     A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
___________________________________

     Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
 _____________________________________

     Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
 ______________________________________

     Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
     A: Yes.
     Q: And what were you doing at that time?
 ______________________________________

     Q: She had three children, right?
     A: Yes.
     Q: How many were boys?
     A: None.
     Q: Were there any girls?
 ______________________________________

     Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
     A: By death.
     Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
 ______________________________________

     Q: Can you describe the individual?
     A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
     Q: Was this a male, or a female?
 ______________________________________

     Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
     A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

     Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
     A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
 ______________________________________

     Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
     A: Oral.
 ______________________________________

     Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
     A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
     Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
     A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
______________________________________

     Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
 ______________________________________

     Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
     A: No.
     Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
     A: No.
     Q: Did you check for breathing?
     A: No.
     Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
     A: No.
     Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
     A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
     Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
     A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

Votes:64Rating:Rating = 4.51

Join | Remove

New Humor List
Daily Joke List
Weekly Joke List
    

Is this page funny?
Send it to someone!
 

 

 

 


In Association with Amazon.com
Copyright 1998-2007   FunEHumor.com    |    http:\\www.funehumor.com    |     contactus@funehumor.com
The displaying of copyright information on this site is designed to refer to the FunEHumor name, the FunEHumor.com web site address and all elements of the web site itself, including, but not limited to our logos, the site design, layout and overall appearance, and the use of our name publicly or for profit. We are in no way attempting to imply that we have any copyrights or trademarks on or for any of the humorous content/material or humor content/material names located within our web site.