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EASY HOME REMEDIES
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup
of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be
almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for
a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember
to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you
from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze
button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move
and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the
duct tape.
Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. Never
pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom. If you woke up breathing,
congratulations! You get another chance. And finally, be really nice to
your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to
empty your bedpan. Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit;
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
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