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"From The Top 5 List, -- Copyright 1999, Chris White"

20> Sleep 'til noon. Still get to work by 8:00am!
19> Doppler shift makes red traffic lights look green.
18> Breaking laws of physics only a misdemeanor in most states.
17> Never in car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.
16> Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawking keep bugging you to carpool.
15> No one can see you pick your nose while you drive.
14> Lunch breaks in Paris, circa 1792.
13> LA to Vegas in 2 nanoseconds.
12> You can stop worrying about being sucked into a black hole driving home from work.
11> You'll be so thin while driving it you can even wear horizontal stripes.
10> That deer in your headlights is actually behind you.
9> Kid from Mentos commercial almost guaranteed to lose a limb if he tries to duck through back seat.
8> Traffic enforcement limited to cops with PhD's in Quantum Physics.
7> Bugs never see you comin'.
6> You can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.
5> Can make a fortune delivering pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"
4> Car makes it from Hollywood to London fast enough to not arouse suspicions of Elizabeth Hurley.
3> License plate: "Me=mc2"
2> Cigarette butts don't land in the backseat -- they land in last week! and the Number 1 Cool Thing About a Car that Goes Faster than the Speed of Light...
1> Chicks dig it.

Forgive me rabbi for I have sinned.  It's been 27 years since my last confession.1 On March 8th, 1999, I received notification that several of my humor documents were "From The Top 5 List, -- Copyright 1999, Chris White"  For a couple of years I have been a fan of Chris White and his Top 5 List.  I also regret to announce that far too many hours of my life have been spent at his web site.  Do I regret it?  Of course not, it's a great website with hilarious content.  So, to help make up for the time I incorrectly took credit for his copywritten material, I'd like to ask everyone reading this to check out his will not regret it !!  Go to !!

1 (Plagiarizing, humor thief Brian Mirsky just happens to be 27 years old.)

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