15> You spent Sunday night in jail for cow-tipping -- with your Oldsmobile.
14> Although armed with fire extinguishers, friends stood at a safe distance as you
blew out your birthday candles.
13> Thanks to you, Jack Daniels stock is up 15 1/4 since Friday.
12> Boris Yeltsin called personally to ask you to slow down on the Stoli.
11> For some reason, there's salt on the rim of your basketball goal.
10> Your name is Otis and Sheriff Andy has brought you some of Aunt Bea's
9> For the money you spent on Thunderbird, you could've bought the *car*.
8> You're now the proud inventor of the "Slim Jim": Ultra Slim-Fast
shakes made with Jim Beam.
7> Answering machine full of warnings from Coach Switzer.
6> Absolut wants to run an add featuring a picture of your liver in the shape of a
5> Yet again, dry cleaner employees greet you with, "Hey, it's
4> The doorman asks for you I.D. just to see how long it'll take you to find
3> Your liver, in a fit of pique, leaps out of your abdominal cavity into a
pan of frying onions.
2> Worried friends call Monday morning to make sure you returned the goat.
and the Number 1 Sign You Drank Too Much This Weekend...
1> You're now sober enough to realize "Drink Canada Dry" is a slogan
and not a personal challenge.