Stage 1 - SMART
This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You
know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At
this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very
WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.
Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING
This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and
that people want you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they want you and really
want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person
about any subject under the sun.
Stage 3 - RICH
This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks
for the entire bar because you have an armored truck full of money parked behind the bar.
You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally
you will win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet because s you are RICH. You
will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the BEST LOOKING
person in the world.
Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF
You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom
you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you
can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of
wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle because you are SMART, you are RICH
and hell, you're BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!
Stage 5 - INVISIBLE
This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything because NO
ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest
of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants
to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no
one can see or hear you and because you're still SMART you know all the words.