The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
* Helen Hayes (at 73)
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as strayeyebrows.
* Janette Barber
Who ever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think I'm
supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.
* Jan King
A few weeks after my surgery, I went out to play catch with my golden retriever. When I
bent over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell out. The dog snatched it, and I found
myself chasing him down the road yelling "Hey, come back here with my breast!"
* Linda Ellerbee
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
* Lily Tomlin
You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman? It's plucking
your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced ears.
* Geri Jewell
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
* Carrie Snow
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
* Laurie Kuslansky
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the
top bunk bed until I faint.
* Erma Brombeck
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do--what he can't.
* Rhonda Hansome
The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
* Jane Sellman
Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.
* Jennifer Unlimited
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good.
Luckily, this is not difficult.
* Charlotte Whitton
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling
apart. I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
* Jennifer Unlimited
When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they
realized I actually had a hearing loss... and they called ME slow!
* Kathy Buckley
Behind every successful woman...is a substantial amount of coffee.
* Stephanie Piro
Behind every successful woman....is a basket of dirty laundry.
* Sally Forth
Behind every successful woman...is a man who is surprised.