Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it. Everything wears out
eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you
can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what
are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of
delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source
of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your
recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop.
Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?
A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we all know,
scientists divide everything in the world into three categories: animal, mineral, and
vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic
table of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and
enjoy your liquid vegetables.
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you
have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: At the gym, a guy asked me to "spot" for him while he did the bench press.